Dangerous Liaisons

Further to the somewhat less than serious article I wrote the other day regarding the over employed actor Morgan Freeman, I note that, as one of my regular correspondents, Benny, commented, Mr Freeman was not alone in the vehicle which was involved in a traffic accident in Mississippi. His travelling companion of that evening was a white woman, and she sure wasn't Miss Daisy.

The woman in question goes by the intriguing name of Demaris Meyer a resident of Memphis, who apparently owned the car Freeman was driving.

I would not presume to speculate as to what Morgan Freeman (71) was doing driving 48 year old Ms Meyer's 1997 Nissan Maxima around Charleston at 11:30 at night, but it does seem that he wife of 24 years, Myrna, may have done some speculating of her own, as she filed for divorce a few days later

Assuming, as Myrna Freeman apparently did, that her husband's relationship with Ms. Meyer was an affectionate one, this again raises the perplexing question of why so many interracial relationships appear to involve a black man and a white woman.

I have written about this phenomenon previously , and it is certainly one which is heavily promoted by the media, and we are led to believe that many black men view having sex with a white woman as talisman and symbol of success, although I don't know how true that is.

However, as a woman who has so far been immune to the apparent charms of black men, one has to ask the question, what's in it for the sizable minority of white women who seem so eager to cross the interracial divide?

Before some of my politically correct correspondents write in to make the spurious claim that black men treat white women better, than white men do, I have to tell you that the statistics do not back you up.

Statistically, as even the sainted Barrak Obama admits, black men are far more likely than white men to abandon their partners and families. When the partner is white and the children mixed race they are even more likely to be abandoned, as the regiments of poverty stricken white girls living on benefits as they attempt, with varying degrees of success, to raise mixed race children will testify.


Furthermore, black men are statistically more prone to domestic violence and in many cases are only too happy to advertise the fact, it is, after all not generally white men who sing the sort of gangsta rap lyrics about “slapping up their bitches” which tend to make so many black rappers such celebrities.

Without even venturing into the subject of crime, it is quite clear that, in general black men are nowhere close to being Prince Charmings in their treatment of women, a fact supported by no less a figure than the US Democratic presidential candidate. Even without Obama's endorsement, white women must know the truth, particularly those who live in the inner cities, where the evidence is all around them.

Let us also lay to rest the claim that black me are better endowed in the underpants department. Even though this may be true in some cases, although certainly not all, as is usually the case with equipment the bigger something is the less well it works, and, as is always the case with men, the larger their vehicle the less well they drive it.

In fact I think the answer may lie more with the women themselves than with the myths. One should not generalise, and there certainly are exceptions, but by and large the white women who are most likely to be seen with black men tend to fall into two distinct groups.

The fist group tend to be women of low intelligence and generally low self esteem, it is this group, who seem to believe that their bodies are all they have to offer, and that a woman's highest ambition is to become pregnant and get a council flat. The colour of the man is less important than his willingness to pay her attention, hence the women in this category tend to become impregnated and abandoned quite rapidly, and sadly, in some cases, quite frequently.

In fairness, such women are also likely to be impregnated by white men, but statistically when that happens, they are less likely to be abandoned.

The other type of white women who favour black men, tend to be more glamorous, albeit glamorous in a somewhat over the top manner. One of my correspondents, who wrote to me a while ago, told me that, when she was young, there was an expression used to describe women who dressed in rather trashy and overstated / over painted manner, who were said to be “looking for a black man”. It is an interesting expression, and I don't think I can be accused of unfairness by suggesting that many of the white women who are more affectionately inclined towards man of races other than their own, do tend to favour an appearance which enable them to aspire to an image which would sit more comfortably within the lyrics of a gangsta rap number.

Be honest, how often do you see a white women without make up, the hair colour she was born with, wearing jeans and sneakers dating a black man?

That said, the fact that one can can identify specific groups of women who are likely to find the company of non white males more appealing, still does not answer the question “why?”. Particularly in relation to the second group, which can include some bright, or, at least shrewd women. Why would they willingly choose relationships which they are no less likely to become victims than the council house aspiring single mothers, indeed probably even more likely than that group to be the victims of violence?.

As I was pondering this conundrum, a portly figure in towering heels and with a raucous, and most unwholesome, laugh sprang to mind. Cynthia Payne, Madame Cyn of Streatham, or at least, if not the lady herself, her willing and loyal clientèle.

Mrs Payne's clients were mostly intelligent, and usually well to do, men, who actively sought out women who would abuse, violate and humiliate them, for such men being treated badly by members of the opposite sex was something they actively craved, often at some significant risk to themselves. Given the thriving trade in dominatrices in the more discrete areas of London, even in the face of the credit crunch, it would seem that significant numbers of men still have such needs.

If some men have a need for masochism the same must surely be the case for some women?

Before the accusations start flying, I am not for one second suggesting that some women deserve what they get on account of what they wear. Violence against anyone, male or female is unacceptable in all circumstances, and I condemn it unreservedly.

However, is it possible that women with a certain need subconsciously or otherwise seek out a partner who will fulfil that need, even if that need is to be treated badly?. Fantasy is a very powerful part of sexuality and can lead people into dangerous territory, it can lead many otherwise intelligent men to women like Mrs Payne, and, similarly, throughout history it has led certain women to bad boys, occasionally very bad boys.

It is an acknowledged if bizarre fact with serial killers, particularly sadistic sexual killers, that the greater the brutality of their crimes the larger their post bags, stuffed with fan mail from primarily female admirers. The fact that such men are usually locked away for life provides a safety barrier between them and their correspondents, however, that does not entirely remove the danger from the fantasy.

It may be that the media's failure to report the truth about violence against women lulls some white women into a sense of security, by providing them with a false safety barrier, and the belief that they can indulge a fantasy whilst risking only a slap, although some pay a higher price.

Is this a Eureka moment? Have I answered a question which has long perplexed me? I don't know, I do not share the fantasy, so I don't know how potent it is. If it is an answer, I don't think it is the whole answer, but I certainly think it is part of the answer.

Despite my politics and my instincts, I would be fool to deny that love can cross racial barriers, however, true love has little to do with many of the interracial relationships currently so fashionable in our society and in which various other factors are at play. In many of those relationships the women are not treated well, in some they are treated very badly, and I wonder if, as with the men who paid to be abused by Cynthia Payne, for some white women, that might be the point.